Not so perfect fairy tale men. I don’t have enough words on this page to run down the mental illness of Disney heroes, but I can con a few of these bad boys of the fairy tale world.
The Little Mermaid, Prince Eric: In a word, Prince Eric is gullible. I could say this about all Disney heroes, but this man gets fooled by everyone so frequently that it becomes a little painful to witness. This prince needs to be married just for someone to help him through life. It’s just too easy to get over on him. Handsome, valiant, and strong yes, easily fooled … definitely. Ladies, you don’t want this one in charge of the checkbook since Prince Eric probably has a few deeds to the bridges he’s already bought.
The Princess and the Frog, Prince Naveen: Broke as hell! Is his pauper status enough to write off this pretty man, no, but his vanity and insincerity certainly are. This pretty man will be in the mirror more than the princess, and who needs that when she has to be the bread winner, too? Seriously, poor and vain do not mix, but once lazy is thrown into the tantalizing package this prince is presented within, it makes little to no difference for a lasting relationship.
Tangled, Flynn Rider: Isn’t Flynn the cutest, most charming hero ever? Oh, did I fail to mention he’s a thief? Yep, Flynn steals. Sure the princess will have crazy fun with this degenerate, but is it worth it? Every time the queen’s police enter the castle the princess will have to quickly think of an alibi. “No, guards, he was with me the whole time!” (freakin’ klepto). Besides this guy’s cool name, one would have to decide if it’s worth being saddled with a sticky-fingered hero.
Tarazan: There are so many cons to this hero I almost don’t know where to start. He
doesn’t walk upright, eats with his hands, and has the thought process of an ape. However, for me the two traits that stand out as absolute pro’s are his ability to glide through the air with the heroine on his back, his chiseled body, and my personal favorite, no talking … sorry, that was three! Now a lot of woman would not be in favor of this trait, but for us introverts the meditative sound of silence is right up our alleys. So, The Best Hero Award goes to Tarzan. Strangely enough, growing up in the jungle probably helped this hero win.
Hey, don’t judge me! I’m pretty sure you wanted me to pick Hercules. Can you imagine marrying a half man and half god? Oh the narcissism.