“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
– Joseph Campbell
Sometimes no matter how smart we think we are we miss the things that are right in front of our face. I decided to make a check list if you will of the different signs that tell you it’s time to let go of something … so enough of the prelude let’s get on to the list.
- Too Many/Unreasonable Expectations – I want to be careful with this one because I think it’s important to have expectations in relationships (all relationships). However, I also think a relationship should be equal. If you have a friend/lover/boss who always wants you to be there for him/her and listen to their problems/suggestions/issues but never seems to have the time to do the same for you – perhaps it’s time to split. Expect the best from those around you, but also give your best to them and I think you will both get the most from your relationship.
- Saying One Thing/Doing Another – If someone tells you they love you, then cheat on you the ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean much. Why hold onto someone who can’t be trusted?
- Only Physical – I’m not saying this doesn’t work for those who only want a physical relationship. What I am saying is if you’re in a relationship and you have nothing more in common than the bed and that’s what keeps you together, perhaps it’s time to change the sheets!
- You’re Not Worthy – No matter what the situation, if you’re not being valued for your full worth it’s not in your best interest to stay around. This is a key point in any relationship – romantic, friend, or work.
- Unhappiness – When you get to the point where every interaction you do forces you to sacrifice your happiness you’re in a bad spot. Whether it’s a relationship where everything is there way or a job that you can barely force yourself to go to, you need to move on. I once had a job that became such a horrible environment for me that I would have panic attacks every night before going to bed because I knew I would have to go to work the next morning. Talk about a wake up call!
- Obsessing – The event was ten years ago but you find yourself still going over and over it in your head. Things you should have said, ways you should have reacted, it plays over and over in your mind until you have done every possible scenario, twice. When you can’t stop long enough to live in the present because you’re too busy re-playing the past you need to move on.
- Invested – Sometimes it can be hard to give something up when we’ve put in so much time and energy. Spending 20 years in a job is a good example. All that time spent scrambling to the top of the ladder, raises, and benefits yet you still are unhappy and unfulfilled. Your invested time and energy becomes like a prison holding you back from trying something you really could enjoy, or leaving a situation you really don’t like.
Change, letting go, growing as a person is a hard road, it’s full of pain and work but the end result is a better, happier you. Hopefully as we grow together we will be able to recognize the signs as we go and start taking the right routes instead of wandering down the wrong paths and having to find our way back.