In a fit of despair I wrote a post of blog post topics because I wasn’t feeling extremely creative and thought it would also be a good place to stick those ideas so I wouldn’t lose them. I had a few responses and they seemed to centre around one idea in particular: How to be a Real Woman.
Most comments went along the lines of, “Can I be anything else?” my response, Yes! We live in a world of fake. Fake friends, fake emotions, fake *cough* body parts *cough* though I’m not saying those who get a boob job are no longer a true woman I am saying a lot of us put out a fake self without even realizing it.
So here are the traits I hold dear to being a REAL woman, I try to abide by my own rules every day in hopes of making each day better than the last.
Though as I write this I realized that although I applied my list to women because that is what I am and these are traits I strive for, the list really could be applies to men as well.
In no particular order because it’s early morning when I am writing this and I don’t have the mental capacity to choose that right now!
- Honesty – It’s easy to say that someone should be honest and just leave it at that, and this goes really for men too. However, I think for women the trick isn’t so much to be honest but to be honest to yourself. YES! That dress makes your butt look big, put down the donut and go for a walk. Women seem to lie to themselves a lot and about some really weird things. I think the first step to becoming the real you is to take an honest look at what you really are and asking yourself if you’re the you, you want to be and if not how can you improve.
- Sense of Humour – There are very few situations in life that I can’t find a joke in. Laughter is really the best medicine and women especially shouldn’t take themselves so seriously. My sister is a great example of no sense of humour. My whole family (save her) are constantly ribbing each other, if we can make a joke at another’s expense in our family we go for it, full throttle. Maybe it’s because I grew up with five boys so my skin is thicker than her’s (she’s the baby so three of those boys were already out of the hIt’s very easy to say one thing and do another. ouse when she was growing up) but if they even suggest her hair is out of order or her make up makes her look like a clown she’s freaking out and running to a mirror. If we can’t laugh at our situations and ourselves it’s no wonder we’re so stressed all the time.
- Bravery – We’re not living in the world of knights any more. No one is going to come and slay the dragon for you so we girls have to learn how to do it ourselves. Whether that’s moving out on our own or just being single we have to learn to be brave and do things for ourselves. I have so many girlfriends who are so afraid they will be alone for the rest of their lives they will do and try almost anything to get a man. Then in my case I was happy being single, in fact I loved it, wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend/lover/husband whatever you want to add here, and I’ve now been married almost six years and with him for over ten. I think we really just need to lose our damsel in distress mode, we don’t need to be saved any more, save those knight and princess fantasies for the bed room. We need to find our inner strength as women to be who we really are, and show it. But it’s hard. When you look at magazines every day telling you how you should be, and what traits the perfect women has (as well as body weight) it becomes easier to try to shove ourselves into that cookie cutter shape than it is to have the strength to stand up and say, ‘This is me’.
- Humility – I think everyone, no matter how smart, tall, beautiful, rich or whatever you want to insert here should practice a bit of humility.
- Proud – Yes be humble, but at the same time I think as women we shouldn’t downplay our success all the time. I know for some men it can be intimidating to meet a strong, confident women who makes more money than he does but should that mean you should be less proud of your accomplishments? Of course not. If you have worked hard to get where you are it’s worth showing off a bit. Besides, as my mother always says, you need to blow your own horn sometimes so other’s can see you coming. I don’t see anything wrong with showing pride in a job well done.
- Integrity – It’s easy to say one thing, but sometimes harder do it. I think this all comes down to whether or not you want to be that person who makes promises and doesn’t keep them. And this applies to not just the people around you, but to yourself as well. How many times do we promise ourselves that we will start exercising again, take time to be alone, or do something for ourselves and then don’t because someone else needs us and for some reason us women always seem to put everyone else first.
- Sensitivity – Some may say women are too sensitive but I disagree. Especially when it comes to each other. We are such a judgemental lot it really makes me sad. Instead of making sure to make note of that chicks ugly skirt (according to you) why not show a little sensitivity for our fellow women (men and children) reel in our negative thoughts and words. If we took the time to think about what we were doing or saying it would save a lot of feelings that don’t need to be hurt. People who are more sensitive are usually also more loving, thoughtful and appreciative, more traits that should be in abundance. They’re also more self-aware which is something everyone should be!
- Intelligent – Soak in as much knowledge as you can and apply it in your life. Take a class in something you’re interested in, read a book, browse the internet there are millions of ways to gain information. There is no such thing as his and her jobs any more. If you want to learn how to be a plumber go for it. Women worked really hard in order for you to be able to do the things we so freely dismiss take advantage of it.
- Responsibility – There was once a time when women had no responsibility for their own lives. Every aspect was dictated to them by their father, and later their husband. We’ve fought to be able to be independent and free to live our lives the way we want to live them. Now we need to learn to take responsibility for our actions. This includes owning up to ourselves as well. It’s so easy for us to pass blame or to cry about bad things happening to good people instead of looking at a situation and accepting the role we played in it. My sister is another good example here (if anything she is always a great bad example). She doesn’t have her license. Yet one night she chose to drive a drunk man home with his vehicle, as she pulled into the drive way this drunk man grabbed the wheel and she ended up hitting the side of his home. Her immediate reaction, ‘He pulled the wheel, it was his fault’ she wouldn’t even consider taking responsibility for her part in it all. When I told her she needed to own up to her own role in the accident she didn’t understand me at all, she was driving fine it was his action that made her lose control, thus his fault. On the outside, yes, she’s right if he didn’t pull the wheel she would have parked the car fine and no muss no fuss. Then I asked her if she had a license. She of course replied, no. So then I pointed out that although she was the legal age to drive she didn’t hold the proper license in order to do so, so in agreeing to drive him she was already wrong. If she never took him home in a vehicle that she wasn’t supposed to be driving there never would have been an accident. To this day though, it’s still his fault!
- Graceful – Though we’re not going to be saved by a prince any time soon it seems that some of us have also gone the opposite way. What is so wrong with being graceful and lady like? I find we feel like we need to prove to so many people (including ourselves) that we can handle anything just as good as a man that we think we need to become more masculine in order to do so. What’s so wrong with wearing a dress now and then? Instead most of us only put on a skirt for weddings or funerals. There’s nothing wrong or weak about being a graceful woman.
I listed ten traits, though I could have went on I didn’t want this article getting any longer than it already is. In fact I’ve cut out a few traits already and decided to make them their own posts giving me quite a few more ideas on the subject to write about. I’m sure I’ve missed some so in the comments, or your own blog post why not let me know what you think makes a real woman?
What do you think makes a woman fake?
For you men out there what do you think makes a real man?